Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A Thousand Word Picture

Luke shared this with me tonight. He recently wrote a memoir in his senior English class and is letting me share his very personal journey with anyone reading this. 

A Thousand Word Picture
by: Luke Rogers

            It’s kind of weird starring at your naked arm knowing it’s never going to look the same in about five seconds. The first touch of that stinging needle injecting ink into my skin was the most regretful moment of my life. It wasn't the pain or the strange looking guy awkwardly grabbing and positioning my body, it was the thick line permanently curving up my arm towards my shoulder that had me thinking twice. Once I started there was no way that I was about to stop, all I could do to reassure myself was hope and pray that I would look like a badass when it was all over. Luckily I already do so it couldn't take away from anything anyways! It took about two hours for the artist to get done drawing on me, by that time I was pretty much done being poked by sharp mechanical needles for the day. I was so excited to see the finished design on my arm, but my mom peeking over me to see it and having a completely blank stare on her face, then faking a smile and saying “it looks good” kind of had me worried. My parents are not a fan of tattoos. I walked over to the mirror bracing myself for the new look of my right arm. I was right; it totally made me look like a badass!
            One day on my way home I got the strangest phone call I could have ever gotten. My friend Bear called and was asking about my little brother Bobby. He was freaking out asking if he was alright, so I said “Yea man he’s fine”. Then I asked why he was so freaked out, he said “Well Tiffany died in a car accident last night and they said Bobby was in there”. I was in shock; I had already tried calling Bobby that morning to see how his night went. All I could say was “I’ll have to call you back” I was so worried about him. I couldn't even hang up because my hands were shaking so much. I tried to call Bobby twice and I was so frustrated not knowing what was going on because he still didn't answer. He always answers me. I was going down eagle road as fast as my truck would go, I was in a panic. When I came around the corner to my street I just saw cars, and all of them were familiar. They were on both sides of the road as far down as you could see. This made my heart sink lower than I thought possible; at that point I knew something had happened to Bobby. I parked in the middle of the road not even caring what I was doing and ran to my front door. My dad was watching for me, everyone was. Nobody wanted to tell me what had happened I knew it. He met me out side before I got through the front yard, all I could do was stare at his face, I had never seen this look on anybody’s face in my life. I stopped and I stood an awkward ten feet away from him because I couldn’t move. I looked straight into his eyes terrified and somehow got the question out “what happened to Bobby?’. His eyes were beat red and his voice was shaking. He starred right back and said “Son, I have some really bad news… your brother was killed in a car accident last night”. That was the worst pain that I have ever felt; I’d rather have been shot and died a painful death than have heard those words. I remember my chest felt like it had caved in on itself. My arms and hands were so weak I couldn’t move them, and just complete numbness came over my whole body. My family piled outside after me trying to comfort me but there was nothing they could do. My Brother Matt put his arms around me and I didn’t let go of him for forever it seemed like. I never wanted to let go. Bobby was my best friend; he was the closest person that I had. I felt like I let him down not being there for him that night. I was always looking out for him; I never let anything bad happen to him. I loved him so much; I never knew how much he meant to me until he was gone.
            One night within the week after, I was missing him like crazy; looking through all of his pictures seemed to comfort me more than anything else because I was in a ton of them. I found a picture he took from about a month before and it was of a tribal tattoo that he drew up in class. He was an artist he always was drawing something. He told me that when he turned 18 that he wanted to get this tattoo with all of the brothers and wear it as a symbol of brotherhood because that was something very special to us. My cousin Jake and I would let him draw all of his tattoo designs on us; they were in sharpie so it was on us for at least a week or so, but now were so happy he did. We forgot all about those, they actually looked really good. We took the best picture that we had and redrew it on paper. I put the word brother in there and we all decided that we need to get it. So all my older brothers talked me into it; that was my argument to my parents. I’m actually still surprised that they let me get it, they weren't too happy about it; but they had nothing to say because it was wrong to argue against it.
            The whole point of getting that was to remember Bobby for everything that he was. We have the strongest brotherhood I've ever known. I think that’s awesome that all of my brothers and I have that now. To us it means an unbreakable brotherhood and it will never let us forget our brother Bobby. It’s amazing how much of an affect he had on people and how many lives he touched. If you met him, you would never forget him. I’m glad that I have this design on me that Bobby made and I can look at it every day for the rest of my life and know how much meaning it truly has behind it. I will never forget my little brother, but I know there are going to be times when I won’t always be thinking of him. Bobby was really a big part of me and I know I was a big part of him. This can just be a reminder of Bobby and how much of an impact he had on my life to make me want to put his design on me permanently, now he really is a part of me.


1 comment:

  1. This is such an amazing essay, I love the whole blog as well. It's a very great way to keep the memories alive :) Bobby will never be forgotten, I miss him so much!