Life Without.

The one year mark has come and gone.

Fourteen ever changing months without Bobby. As the days, weeks, and months have passed... things are different. We all still have our moments, those will never stop. But now there is a new pain that fills my heart. We are learning how to live without Bobby. 

He still crosses my mind every passing day. For that, I am thankful. It hurts knowing not to expect him anymore. To no longer wonder where he is, why he isn't at the dinner table or on the couch beside me. The confusion has somehow left my subconscious and I now know, he's not coming back. 

Getting caught up in the day to day routines and the simple struggles of life have distracted me. I can relate when my mom says she doesn't want to let go, and doesn't want people to forget. It's astonishing how quickly time has passed. How the heartache has slowly eased. How we can talk about him casually and laugh instead of cry. 

I hope anyone reading this will always remember the sweet boy who was taken too soon. Always remember his laugh and his signature smile. Always remember that he loved you, loved everyone he knew. And remember that life has and will go on... but he is forever with us. 

Team BobbyStrong

The Dirty Dash has come and gone. This year we organized the first annual "BOBBYSTRONG" team. Doing something fun, messy, and challenging was the best way to honor Bobby with a smile on our faces. We've done so many wonderful events raising awareness and getting the word out- but this one was purely for the fun of it. He would have LOVED it. Our team dressed in a pirate theme thanks to some pretty great inspiration.

Bobby floating the Boise River- Summer '12

The BobbyStrong team filled up quickly and we ended up with 20 dirty dashers! We sported some pretty awesome team shirts, eye patches, and tattered shorts.

 

 

The siblings

An awesome day for our family

Everyone had such a great time at the Dirty Dash- my parents even ran with us! I can only imagine what Bobby would have worn and how entertaining he would have been barreling through the mud. This was the perfect place for us to have some fun, let loose, and have a reason to laugh together again... muddy teeth and all.

For those of you who might be wondering where "BOBBYSTRONG" came from, check out the letter below. Written by Conor Cook.

 

A New Perspective

Highway 55 is no stranger to me. Growing up with numerous trips to McCall for the past 17 years and countless treks to and from Moscow, I've certainly seen a mile or two on this road. It was a Sunday afternoon- I had spent the weekend in Boise and decided to leave a few hours early to make sure I had plenty of time before my 5 o'clock shift at the McCall Brewing Company. The date was June 9th, exactly 9 months to the day since Bobby's accident. He was on my mind even more than usual that day. I've spent a lot of time driving by myself between school, work and home- the alone time gives me a few hours to myself to think freely. These drives almost always involve a few tears, my mind automatically goes straight to him.

I was surprised by the little traffic I encountered and was impressed by the good time I was making. I came around a corner and passed a car with people waving and honking at me signaling to "STOP". I slowed down as I saw a few cars stopped up ahead. A man came running down the middle of the highway in a panic. I rolled down my window in time to hear him tell the car in front of me that there was a terrible accident involving a car and a semi truck and that there was no help yet. My heart sank and I immediately prayed for whoever was involved "God help them, help them, help them" was all I could say over and over out loud. I could only assume the absolute worst.

I didn't know how to react. A woman in the car behind me got out and started running towards the accident, so did many others. I was able to find cell phone service and immediately called my mom with a shaky voice and no idea what else to do. Eventually I walked past about eight cars and around the corner. It was a very sad sight. You can only image what kind of damage a semi can do at 50+ miles an hour. By the time I had the stomach to walk over there, help had arrived. I stood and watched as the paramedics used the 'jaws of life' to free the woman from her vehicle. Life flight struggled to find a place to land among the heavy traffic and narrow road. I could see what was happening but was far away enough to never see her face. I watched as the paramedics instantly began CPR all the way to the helicopter.

For the next three hours we waited for the road to open. All I could think about was what had happened in the helicopter. Wondering if they were able to save her or if I had just witnessed her final hour. I drove extra cautiously the rest of the trip and kept a close eye on those yellow lines.

I've been thinking about the woman in that van, her family and everyone who loved her. It was a very unsettling experience and I'm still not sure if it was just a coincidence that I was there. It gave me an idea of what happened to Bobby the night he died. He was not alone, people were trying to help him, he went from this life to the next in a matter of minutes.

I wish I could tell the family that they'll see her again and that I feel for them on an extremely personal level. I'll always think of her when I pass that turn in the road. I'll remember to slow down and to pay attention- this precious life can be taken away so quickly.

This tragedy gave me a whole new perspective. As if from the outside looking in on what we've recently experienced. I was on the same drive exactly one week later and stopped when I saw her beautiful cross- it was an entirely different feeling on that road. Rest In Peace Kristen Marie Scott

Bobby's Tree

 

Trees are the earth's endless effort to speak to the listening heaven. ~Rabindranath Tagore, Fireflies, 1928

 

In April, we held a very special event; a tree dedication for Bobby. It was wonderful to see family and friends join together for an evening of remembering, love and support. Homemade chili, corn dogs, and baked potatoes were a hit- guest speakers, music and live singing made for fun and light-hearted afternoon.

 

Around 6 o'clock we took a short walk across Tully Park to find Bobby's tree. The group gathered around our family as a few words were spoken. My dad announced that this tree was placed between two baseball fields where Bobby played little league growing up.

 

The plaque is perfect. Bobby loved anything and everything Nike- "Just Do It" fits him to the T. The beauty of a tree dedication is that it will continue to live and to grow for many years to come.

  

Thank you to everyone who was apart of this beautiful dedication.

 



Photos: Jed Davis

Doing it for Bobby

If you're from Boise, chances are you've heard of the Race to Robie Creek. It's been termed the "toughest race in the northwest" for its grueling hill climb in the Boise foothills. When I heard about registration for the 36th annual race, I was pretty curious. Once I realized where the race course was, I decided I had to run it. Reserve Street takes you up towards table rock- the same road Bobby went up that night and never came back from. I now have a lot of mixed feelings about these particular foothills. The day we drove up to visit the accident site, I held my breath as the hills got steeper and steeper. I can only think of Bobby when I see the cross lit up at night or when the sun is rising above those hills. Visiting his final resting place is a mix of both heartbreaking and somehow peaceful. It's hard to explain but I feel closer to him when I'm up there.

My goal is to gain some positively after this race and have a new way to look at that road. I know he'll be there pushing me along and helping me get through it. "Doing it for Bobby" because he loved a good physical challenge, accomplishing things and earning some bragging rights. My new goal in life is to try things that scare me, I know Bobby would do just about anything- and since he can't now, I'll do it for him.

The Dash

The Dash

By Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on his tombstone

From the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of his birth

And spoke of the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That he spent alive on earth

And now only those who love him

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars…the house…the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile…

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

Our Dragonfly

Water Bugs & Dragonflies is a short book explaining death to young children. My mom read this and passed it along to me- now I'd like to pass it along to you.
(I know it looks long, but it's a quick read, and very touching).

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. they were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. 

They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more. 

"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another." One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?" Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return. 

"That's funny!" said one water bug to another. 

"Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second water bug. 

"Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third. 

No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. 

Finally, one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why." 

"We promise," they said solemnly. 

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above. 

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. 

By and by, the new dragonfly landed happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. 

Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why." 

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. He hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. 

"I can't return!" he said in dismay." At least I tried, but I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies, too. Then they'll understand what happened to me, and where I went." 

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.