Saturday, December 22, 2012

Bobby Lee

I believe a person's name says a lot about them. Robert was the name he was born with, but he was always Bobby to us. He was named after our grandpa who goes by Bob. I always wondered if Bobby would ever go by something else as he got older.. I think Bobby suited him perfectly. I wanted to write a little bit about the person he was to me and what I think of when I hear his name.

“People with this name tend to initiate events, to be leaders rather than followers, with powerful personalities. They tend to be focused on specific goals, experience a wealth of creative new ideas, and have the ability to implement these ideas with efficiency and determination. They tend to be courageous and creative, unique individuals." 

B -------  b r a v e. 

Bobby was always the first one in line to take risks and try something crazy. He loved the adrenalin rush and feeling of accomplishment... okay, and showing off. On a family road trip we stopped off at Lava, Idaho to swim in the big hot springs there. As we were pulling up to the parking lot we spotted three diving platforms. They were REALLY high. Instantly, Luke and Bobby and I started talking smack and making bets on who would chicken out at the top. Next thing I knew the three of us were climbing up the never-ending ladder getting higher and higher. The second we reached the top I admit, I wanted to climb right back down. Before I even had a chance to change his mind, Bobby had ran off the edge and jumped. I couldn't believe he actually did it. I turned around to see Luke climbing back down the  ladder (that was my plan) but I couldn't be shown up by my little brother. With shaky legs and poor judgement, I jumped-- but ONLY to prove to Bobby that I could.

I think back to the last night of Bobby’s life. I imagine him there that night, as brave as can be. I can’t imagine what he was thinking, seeing or feeling but I do know he had a very brave heart and I'm confident that he wasn't scared.

O ------- o b s e r v a n t. 

Bobby paid close attention to everything in life. He always kept up on the latest music, movies, video games, styles and anything that was “in”. He took notes from his big brothers on how to handle crazy teenage girls, he learned how to work on cars and build things from watching his dad, he learned compassion and how to make friends from his mom. He also learned how to defend himself thanks to me- his big sister.

Bobby knew how much he was loved. He knew this through watching our family love each other- through the good times and the bad. He knew we would always be there for him no matter what and that we would do anything for him.

B ------- b r o t h e r. 

With two older brothers, an older sister and four older brothers in Colorado, Bobby was the baby. We had him to rock and hold as a newborn, as a diaper changing chore, as a little minion and as a friend. He was so funny, anyone around him was guaranteed a laugh. I loved when he would ask me for advice and listen to my sisterly words of wisdom. He was fun to pick on, to learn from and to spend time with. I can't believe how much I already miss him.

Our family will never feel complete without him. A sibling is someone who can never be replaced.. we won’t try to. We’ll be the best brothers and sister to each other that we can, for us and for Bobby.

B ------- b r i g h t. 

What 16 year old turns down a trip to Disney World for school? And then Hawaii? Bobby was extremely committed to keeping his straight A’s. He had somehow found the perfect balance between class and his social life. I was impressed every time that report card made it under the coveted spotlight on the refrigerator. Bobby had book smarts, common sense and wit. His brightness was more than just intelligence.

He had the biggest, brightest smile. Though you were lucky to see it the past few years.. He had the cutest little smirk paired with his notorious dimples- that was usually the smile we saw until someone made him laugh.

While looking through old pictures recently, I've found a few where Bobby is wearing white and he is literally glowing. He has a light all around his body that is undeniable. I can only imagine that light today... the brightest of angels.

Y ------- y o u n g. 

Bobby told my mom that he “never wanted to grow up”. He wanted to stay young forever.. he turned 16 in May. I teased him about his ‘sweet 16’ and he made sure I knew “those are for girls”. I’ll never understand why he had to go so young but I will always have his perfect 16 year old image in my mind. If he could choose how everyone would remember him I’m sure he’s pretty content. Handsome, athletic, great smile, mastered hair flip, and the body builder physique I've never seen on another teenager.

I've been having a lot of dreams about Bobby since he passed away. A few of them he’s a little boy when I see him. I wish I knew what that meant, I guess I’ll always picture him very young... too young. Even though his time was short, I know that Bobby had a very full life- full of friends, family, fun and surrounded by love.

-- thank you for reading and please, if you have siblings make sure they know how much you love them. Hug them often and love them always. "Hold tightly to those which you cherish."

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